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Day 1 of the rest of my life!!

February 7, 2012

Zinnias and Rudbeckias glow in the evening light

Hello there and welcome to MY real personal development site.

Being someone who continuously fails at ‘getting my act together’ I often frequent blogs and websites devoted to ‘getting the most out of your life‘, ‘top ten tips for losing weight/getting out of bed in the morning/achieving your goals …. etcetera.

Then I unfortunately judge myself and my poor track record against these people who have ‘done it’ who have ‘made a success’ and the one I visited this morning made me decide to get up, get on and get to living.

However, it wasnt through any of the ‘go get em’ hype it was spouting. It was because of a realization that the person writing the blog did not have my story, they had never experienced my life.

I’ve never been successful at any of the things I’ve really tried for, unlike the creators of the top ranking blogs… But now. Now I will succeed! I have said this many times and I’ve said the next part many times too.

But one day – one day I’ll get there. And I’m inviting you to join me from the beginning of my journey – surely there is a journey you want to be taking too?

As I lay in bed this morning googlinghow to get out of bed in the morning‘ I realized a few things – (once again). I realized I have a lot of life goals and I either try to hit them all at once and fail miserably or set myself on one or two and let them tail off over a matter of days…

So here are ALL of my life goals (at this moment in time anyways) and here is the blog that is going to track my success to getting them all!

Not in any particular order:

Overall I would like to be healthy, happy most of the time, caring, make a difference and be a successful mother who doesn’t struggle for money, I wouldn’t mind travelling the world with the beautiful man either!

Vegan conscious lifestyle:

I want to be a Vegan – I feel guilty when I eat animals and their products, but I do it to make life easier for my self – to fit in with everyone else around me – and because they taste damn good. I put my taste buds before my inner values and that really isn’t right, also when I am vegan I am so much healthier and I can lose weight… which leads me into number 2.

Healthy, medication free mind, body and soul:

I need to lose weight, I’m currently sitting in the obese/morbid obese scale. None of my clothes fit me except my joggers and when I do even the smallest bit of physical excercise it kills me.

I suffer from depression and am taking fluoxetine to keep the worst of it away, however I also have a mind that wont shut up and constantly gets stuck on the same stupid repetitive thoughts over and over all day and night so I hardly get any proper sleep at all! I also suffer from other types of mood swings which make me binge on alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and go into all manner of self destruct mode. I want this to stop.

I want to not feel like I should be dead a lot of the time and I want to be drug free. No alcohol, no nicotine, no caffeine and no other dodgy substances. I want to look after my brain. I want to meditate. When I meditate my mind is peaceful and it works correctly. I want to feel like there is a reason to get up in the morning – even though I know there is – my mind and my depression make me feel like there isn’t – THIS HAS TO STOP!

Be a success:

I want to earn a living from the things I love. Art, poetry, writing, spirituality, making the most of oneself, encouraging and nurturing people.

Be as good a mother and partner as I can be.

The beautiful man is amazing and I want to be strong for him. He suffers from very bad Eczema, a heart problem and high cholesterol. We are a team and should be working at this healthy malarkey together. And when we eventually have our lovely little family I want to nurture them mind, body and soul so that they do not suffer with the same maladies we suffer – I want to help the next step in human evolution! I want to educate them about depression and cholesterol and all manner of other things and help them be able to prevent these things taking a hold of their life.

Caffeine, alcohol and nicotine all play their part in depression. I want these things eradicated from life.

I want to make the most of my days and jump out of bed in the morning. I want to read and learn and earn and grow! I want to be the best version of me that I can be! and I urge you to join me in my quest. Lets do it together – Who do you want to be?

So today I start. One step at a time.

I got up, I had black sugar free caffeine free coffee and 2 slices of warburton’s with marmalade. I wanted coffee with milk and sugar, and lemon curd on toast. But I chose not to, for the animals and me. Hopefully I can continue to make these little choices all day.


From → Good day

  1. This post put a wonderful smile on my face as a read it. I really hope you continue to post as you journey further into you’re adventure!

    • zenloola permalink

      Hey dude, thanks! it will be comments like these that help me move along! And guess what – I got up at 6am too!!! (I did wake at 2.30 but I thought that would be a silly time to get out of bed so I waited till the beautiful man arose) so far I’ve showered, had my vitamins and meditated! _ Well I mediated a bit then nearly fell asleep :S early days and all that :) x

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